While London is tripping on the heraldry of Her Majesty’s Diamond Jubilee, Ek is lying on his side with three doctors staring at his arsehole.

He never should have kissed a Tory.

HERPES is a new play about helplessness, and feeling like nothing is ever going to change. A show about this country’s insidious, stinking, neo-colonial politics which has – for too long – been allowed to masquerade as patriotism.

And it’s about herpes.